insipid woman that i am

i believe i desire to be a poet.
a published poet.
even if only self-published.

i wish i wrote this:

"if i didn't know the difference living alone'd probably be ok
it wouldn't be lonely
i got a long way to go
i'm getting further away
a lot of hours to occupy, it was easy when i didn't know you yet
things i'd have to forget
but i better be quiet now
i'm tired of wasting my breath
carrying on and getting upset
maybe i got a problem, but that's not what i wanted to say
i'd prefer to say nothing.
i got a long way to go
i'm getting further away."

© elliott smith


but instead these are my words:


contagion

i'm nervous


because she
wins
she has your history
folded up and tucked
away in the side pocket
of her purse
begging to
pose a
threat
by bringing it out to re.mind
you
lure
you
a w a y

from me

with her
sneaky
familiarity


© mja


sometimes i wish i wasn't so pathetically female.
so unlike joe i will simply have another poem for 'everyone' to read. lol just because i don't think i can focus long enough to write anything else.

so until i can think of something more worthwhile this is all i have.